Well, that’s it. According to the latest word from Diary-x, “All journals, user information, forum posts, templates, images, and everything else are all irrecoverably lost.” Stephen Deken, the site owner has announced that he believes “it makes the most sense to close Diary-X permanently.” He goes on to say that “tentatively, the site will go dark on March 31st, 2006.” Dark, indeed.
Many members are urging Mr. Deken to reconsider, but I am not one of them. I’m mad as hell about having lost this record of my memories. Sure, I could and should have created my own backups. But, damn it, I was a paying customer, and I think Stephen Deken should have been more responsible. Mr. Deken has now admitted that there have been NO journal backups, because the 2004 backup he previously led us to believe was in existence "contained only configuration files and other non-essential files." In the man's own words: "We do not have any other backups for the site."
Even if Stephen listens to the pleas of those who hope that Diary-x will rise from the ashes, I won’t be returning to the site. As much as it pains me to say this, Yer Blues is gone for good.
My first diary-x entry was posted on August 21, 2001, and the last sometime in February 2006. Over the years, I wrote about triumphs and failures, heartache and jubilation, losses and gains. I wrote about the disintegration of my first marriage, my travels along the road to self-discovery, my reaction to 9/11, my physical and emotional challenges, and so much more.
As a result of menopause and chronic pain, my powers of recall aren’t what they used to be. All those diary-x entries served as a sort of encyclopedic reference – a source I referred to countless times when I needed clarification, or my memory jogged. Thanks to my old online journal, I was able to track my progress, as well as my regress. I was able to build a medical history that comes in handy when I have to fill out forms at a doctor’s office or other medical facility. Most important of all, I was able to remember.
And now - poof! The documentation I have come to rely on to serve as a reminder of the last several years of my life has vanished into thin air. Because of the state of my memory these days, I consider this to be a significant (not to mention upsetting) loss.
There is one, small ray of light at the end of this particular tunnel. It is possible that not all of my entries are lost forever. I think I might have a file saved on my computer at work in which some old entries are stored. I’ll know for sure on Monday, and, if they are there, I will most likely transfer them to my Diaryland archives. Wish me luck.
Song of the Day: Mozart’s Requiem