An unacceptable situation with my daughter’s college roommate has created a distraction from my preoccupation with pain. The dorm living arrangements have been unpleasant for a while, but are now intolerable. The roommate’s boyfriend visits almost every weekend. He often arrives on Thursday, and doesn’t leave until Monday. He is an unregistered and unwelcome guest. None of the suitemates like him, and they have complained to Ms. Roommate, her boyfriend, and the Resident Director. Nothing changed. Until I got involved.
During the boyfriend’s visits, Rebecca has on several occasions been LOCKED OUT OF HER OWN DORM ROOM because the couple wanted privacy. At times when she has been in the room with them, they have been all over each other, engaging in overtly demonstrative behavior, despite her presence. Ms. Roommate admitted to my daughter that she and her boyfriend have had sex while Rebecca was sleeping. This makes Rebecca uncomfortable enough to leave, which is probably the couple’s intention.
In addition, Ms. Roommate removes Rebecca’s few food items from the refrigerator they share (and for which we paid half the rental cost), so she can stuff it full of her own food. She has moved Rebecca’s personal belongings. She has had friends sleep in Rebecca’s bed when Becca was home for the weekend. She has given away gallons of Rebecca’s bottled water. She leaves a mess in the shower, and garbage all over the place.
Rebecca has sat in an empty conference room and cried because she was locked out of her room and had nowhere else to go. She has felt the need to sleep elsewhere when Ms. Roommate’s boyfriend has been there on school nights. Rebecca comes home just about EVERY WEEKEND because the situation has become so unbearable. For this I’m paying room and board?
Several days ago, I called the college and spoke to someone at Residential Life, but did not feel that the situation was adequately addressed. It was suggested to me that Rebecca and/or her suitemates should call the police, since the boyfriend is an unregistered guest. Perhaps they will do that now that I have informed them that this is an option, but I thought it would be more appropriate for the University to do something first.
I was also asked if Rebecca would be willing to switch rooms. Yes, she would (and most likely will), but she has already moved once - at the request of Ms. Roommate’s FIRST roommate, who found living with this wench unendurable. It doesn’t seem fair that my daughter should be inconvenienced more than she already has been. Why can't Ms. Roommate be asked to move? This young woman has a blatant disregard for others - a blatant disregard for PROPRIETY. She should be held accountable for repeatedly breaking the rules, and causing so much distress to her suitemates.
Anyway, I later spoke to the Resident Director, who then arranged a meeting with the suitemates. The resolution to the situation is that Ms. Roommate’s boyfriend can only visit once a month (I was initially told that her guest privileges would be revoked for the rest of the year), and if he isn’t registered as a guest, he will be escorted off campus by the police. I’ll believe it when I see it.
In other troublesome news, I recently became aware of the fact that my divorce agreement contains an item that is contrary to legal emancipation standards. The agreement states that living away from home while attending college is a condition of emancipation, and, therefore, a reason to discontinue child support. I have since discovered that other divorced mothers are entitled to child support until their children are out of college. I did some research and found this: If a child leaves home to attend college but remains dependent on the parents for support, there is no emancipation. E.g., Anderson v. Loper, 689 So. 2d 118 (Ala. Civ. App. 1996) How about that.
What I’d like to know is how such a significant (and costly!) error escaped my divorce attorney’s notice. I’ll be composing a letter asking that very question.