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Raccoon Saloon (07 October 2006 - 7:13 a.m.)

All has been quiet on the bat front. I’m hoping the unusually cool weather has provoked an early return to the bat caves across the river for hibernation. However, our house is now under siege by another species of nocturnal creature – the raccoon.

Our back door opens onto a small, enclosed porch. Off the porch, there is a storage room/pantry. The door to that room didn’t close properly until we recently had it fixed by my brother (who was here to do some bat proofing).

The reason we had that door repaired was because the raccoons were getting in. (The only way we can keep them from opening the outside door is by using a hook and eye latch, but the last person in at night doesn’t always remember to do that.) The critters were going into the pantry and ripping into bags of dog food and birdseed, and shredding rolls of toilet paper.

Even though the pantry door is now secure, the buggers still try to get in. A couple of pre-dawn mornings, I was sitting outside on the back porch, drinking coffee, and found myself startled by an approaching raccoon. Last week, one varmint actually brushed against my foot before either of us became aware of the other. I jumped up, and it jumped back, but then it kept coming forward, even when I thrust at it with a broom. (I wasn’t trying to hurt it; I just wanted to get it away from me.)

Early this past Thursday morning, I was sitting at the computer when I heard a banging sound at the back door. I went to investigate, and saw a raccoon trying to push the door open. Fortunately, the latch was in place this time, so the attempt was thwarted. The raccoon stared right into my eyes, and I wondered what it was thinking. I tried to shoo it away verbally, but it wouldn’t budge. Next, I tried hissing, which was slightly more effective in that it made the raccoon run off the porch, but then it came back immediately.

Finally, I had had enough. I loaded my pistol, took aim, and shot the bastard right between the eyes.

With this:

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Song of the Day: Rocky Raccoon by The Beatles

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