I hate to talk about pain so much, but, even more than that, I hate to BE in pain so much. For the past couple of days, the pain has been stupefying. My neck, shoulder and upper back muscles are so sore and tight, I can barely move my head and arms. And my face is tingling.

Yesterday morning, I went for the EEG. The last time I had one of those tests was back in the seventies, when brain waves were printed out on a long sheet of paper. Now everything is recorded on a computer, but they still goop up your hair with that gel for the electrodes.

This test didn�t show any abnormalities the last time I had it done, and I don�t expect the results to be different this time. I wish I could have had the EMG and Nerve Conduction Studies instead. That�s the test that assesses the health of the muscles and nerves. My muscles were really spasming and the nerves were really pinched yesterday (and today). However, that test isn�t scheduled until the 24th. How much do you want to bet that the 24th will be one of my rare symptom free days?

Spring break passed in a blur of pain and medical appointments. I didn�t do any of the things I wanted or needed to do. This place is a mess, and I have guests coming for Easter dinner tomorrow. Every time I think about cooking the leg of lamb, mashed potatoes, stuffed shells, etc., my brain shuts down. For me, entertaining is a daunting task on a GOOD day, and this is not a good day.

When the pain gets this bad, I wonder why I�m alive. This isn�t a life, after all. It�s a raw wound that never closes all the way.

I�m going for a massage this morning, but even the thought of that makes me feel a little uptight. The therapist hurt me last time. She went way too deep. I didn�t say anything because I thought the pain might be worth it if the deep massage loosened the muscles up, but it didn�t. Instead, I ended up so swollen and tender, I couldn�t bear to run a bar of soap over my neck in the shower for a week. I learned my lesson and will tell her that a lighter touch is required.

The only thing that distracts me from the pain is reading. Yesterday, I zipped through the rest of Wolves of the Calla, book 5 of Stephen King�s Dark Tower series, and started book 6, Song of Susannah. Stephen King is one of my guilty pleasures, but I haven�t enjoyed anything he�s written this much in a long time, yar bugger. There�s only one more book in the series, and I�m going to be sorry when the adventure comes to an end. What I WOULD like to see come to an end is my agony.

Song of the Day: Agony From Into the Woods