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Ringing Doorbells For Jesus (13 April 2006 - 8:49 a.m.)

I walked home from the dentist’s office yesterday. As I was approaching my house, I saw two groups of well-dressed people knocking on doors of neighboring homes.

Immediately, alarm bells went off in my head. I knew what this meant. The Jehovah’s Witnesses were out on their mission to save souls.

I decided to head the interlopers off at the pass, and stood on my front porch to wait for them. When they arrived at the foot of my front walk, I greeted them with a warning glare. I cautioned, “Before you come any further, tell me what you want.”

One of the men remarked that it looked like I was on my way out. I informed him that I was on my way IN, and was not in the mood to deal with religious propaganda, if that's what they were selling. They wisely bid me adieu, and I benevolently waved them goodbye.

Then I went inside, made a sign, and placed it over my doorbell. It reads: No religious soliciting. Invasion of privacy.

This kind of thing does not sit well with me. I consider it to be an unwelcome interruption, and an enormously rude imposition. Mind your own business, and I will mind mine.

We have a National Do Not Call Registry to deal with pesky telemarketers. I think a Do Not Proselytize Registry would also be in order.

Song of the Day: All Along the Watchtower by Jimi Hendrix

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