I hate to talk about pain so much, but, even more than that, I hate to BE in pain so much. For the past couple of days, the pain has been stupefying. My neck, shoulder and upper back muscles are so sore and tight, I can barely move my head and arms. And my face is tingling.
Yesterday morning, I went for the EEG. The last time I had one of those tests was back in the seventies, when brain waves were printed out on a long sheet of paper. Now everything is recorded on a computer, but they still goop up your hair with that gel for the electrodes.
This test didnít show any abnormalities the last time I had it done, and I donít expect the results to be different this time. I wish I could have had the EMG and Nerve Conduction Studies instead. Thatís the test that assesses the health of the muscles and nerves. My muscles were really spasming and the nerves were really pinched yesterday (and today). However, that test isnít scheduled until the 24th. How much do you want to bet that the 24th will be one of my rare symptom free days?
Spring break passed in a blur of pain and medical appointments. I didnít do any of the things I wanted or needed to do. This place is a mess, and I have guests coming for Easter dinner tomorrow. Every time I think about cooking the leg of lamb, mashed potatoes, stuffed shells, etc., my brain shuts down. For me, entertaining is a daunting task on a GOOD day, and this is not a good day.
When the pain gets this bad, I wonder why Iím alive. This isnít a life, after all. Itís a raw wound that never closes all the way.
Iím going for a massage this morning, but even the thought of that makes me feel a little uptight. The therapist hurt me last time. She went way too deep. I didnít say anything because I thought the pain might be worth it if the deep massage loosened the muscles up, but it didnít. Instead, I ended up so swollen and tender, I couldnít bear to run a bar of soap over my neck in the shower for a week. I learned my lesson and will tell her that a lighter touch is required.
The only thing that distracts me from the pain is reading. Yesterday, I zipped through the rest of Wolves of the Calla, book 5 of Stephen Kingís Dark Tower series, and started book 6, Song of Susannah. Stephen King is one of my guilty pleasures, but I havenít enjoyed anything heís written this much in a long time, yar bugger. Thereís only one more book in the series, and Iím going to be sorry when the adventure comes to an end. What I WOULD like to see come to an end is my agony.
Song of the Day: Agony From Into the Woods